so i've told you before that i struggle with my weight. always have. my mom & i were cleaning out my grandmother's apartment last night & i came across my school picture from age 9 & i told her "this is when it really began." 4th grade was the year i remember feeling "fat," the year i remember the harsh words of a young boy calling me "wide load" being embedded into my brain. now looking back, i was bigger than most of the girls my age, but i wasn't fat... BUT... that was the first year i remember the thoughts really weighing down on my shoulders.
that's the year my battle began.
well i've finally realized i can't do this on my own. it's my biggest day to day struggle & the Lord has really been challenging me over the last few weeks to give it over to him because it's hindering me from living my life to the fullest. it's been laying hard on my mind that i must allow his strength to guide me through the challenges that lay ahead so that ultimately i can come out changed on the other side.
earlier this week my mom had emailed me information just as an FYI about a local natural health center that specializes in weight loss & i'm glad she did. as i was really thinking through it this week, my morning devotional yesterday was specifically about being honest with ourselves & facing our struggles head on. the writer expressed that her struggle is healthy eating & that we were "made for more than the vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing - eating, gaining, stressing"
"I am made to rise up, do battle with my issues, and using the Lord's strength in me, defeat them - spiritually, physically, and mentally - to the glory of God."
my battle begins. i'm entering the battle that i've fought most of my life, but this time i'm entering into this battle with God's armor. i'm thoroughly convinced that i won't make it through this battle without prayer & petition to God to give me the strength & determination to continue through & make it to my goal of weight loss & overall wellness for my mind, body, & spirit.
i'm excited for the journey ahead & know that only God is going to get me through it & you're my witnesses. i'm going to be blogging on wednesdays about my progress for some accountability! i covet your prayers during these next 2 months starting next week & want to encourage any women struggling in this area that you too don't have to be a slave to the vicious cycle. you can fight the battle too. we all can. we have a God who is mighty & will walk with us in through our struggles.
"be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress." I timothy 4:15 (NIV)
so here i am & so it begins...
don't let the picture fool you :)
i've got at least 25 lbs to get off!!