Tuesday, May 18, 2010

He is jealous for me...

as i've mentioned before, on Sunday nights for the last school year, i've had the honor and pleasure of leading a small group of 9th grade girls through our youth program at my church.  every sunday night we meet for a time of worship/learning before we break off into our small groups.  this past sunday was the same, but something inside my soul had shifted over the weekend.  i felt a renewed Spirit awaken inside of me Sunday morning after having it out with myself and having a SERIOUS heart to heart with God last week, I was reminded Sunday morning in church by our pastor, David Chadwick as he finished up this series on Romans 8, that "we are MORE than conquerors"through all of a life's mountains/trials. (side note - you can watch the series clicking here and then click on "video message" at the top.  it's a good one!) 

in all of our crap, in all of the trails we will face in life, for those of us that believe in the power Jesus Christ, Paul says in romans 8:37, that "we are MORE than conquerors"

this life is bigger than being about me and as we worshipped this past Sunday night i got to jump up and down with sweet katy as we worshipped God and sang about the freedom we have when living within God's way.  freedom to run, freedom to dance, freedom to live for Him!!  as i jumped around and danced and sang, i realized that i am blessed to know a 14 year old girl who has already experienced more yuck in life than most of us ever will.  a girl who has battled cancer and by God's grace, she's won that battle!  she's not cursing God for giving her that sickness, that mountain, that trial, she is praising Him!  now i know it's probably easier to praise God when our circumstances turn out good, but it got me thinking that I should praise Him REGARDLESS of my circumstances because He's still God, a loving God.

and as I sang this song below, i seriously felt like my heart opened right up to let God use me for His purpose, not my own. i don't think i've ever felt more in love with God than Sunday night.  a strange, but very clear understanding, that eternity is more important than anything I can do myself washed over me.  that living for the Creator who gave me the breath in my lungs, the blood in my veins, and the choice to love Him... I'm going to choose life by His standard, His way, and i'm going to remember that He is jealous for me... for my affections.

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us...

Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,

And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause..

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